I Wrote This For Him

I love: the dominate freckle under your right eye; your OCD about cleaning our house; your quick wit; your broad shoulders; the way you hug me; your jokes even when they are lame; your obsession with candles and all things that smell good; your golden-brown eyes; the way you laugh; your t-shirt and jeans style; your kiss...

I wouldn't have you any other way.

"When you know who wanna spend the rest of your life with,

You wanna start the rest of your as soon as you can"

Oh, the things you didn't know!

Emily inspired - well, asked - me to reflect on my quirkiness, which led me to think about all the weird things about me that people may or may not know. I know, it's strange to think that there is something weird/quirky about me, right?

Well, I have compiled a short list of some of the "unique" things about me:

• I hate blue food/drinks. Blue Gatorade? Forget it. I don't know if I had one too many blue slushies as a kid, but I am repulsed by blue food and drinks, except blue Peeps and M&Ms because I know they don't taste blue. I even struggle with blue gum. I have finally gotten over my blue toothpaste phobia. Shawn likes to take advantage of my blue food phobia and taunt me with his blue Gatorade. I don't know if it's the taste or the way it can turn your mouth a blue hue, but it grosses me out.
• I have a hole in my left tonsil. It's not as uncommon as you think or dangerous by any means. It's just weird and at times disgusting.
• I judge people a little by their vanity license plates. If you're going to get a vanity plate, why would you put the name of the car you're driving on it? It's a little redundant. While I aspire to have my own vanity plate on the Mazda3, I do think vanity plates get abused by some drivers.
• I type out every word in a text. I refuse to text in text lingo because it so often translates into emails and even verbal communication. It takes the same amount of time to say "oh my gosh" as it does "OMG!" And it's not "ur", it's "your". And "your" vs. "you're" is possibly the worst grammar mistake you can make in my book.
  
• I am OCD about things being in their place. Ok, so it may not qualify as OCD, but I like things neat and tidy - though that doesn't always happen in our spare bedroom which normally is piled high with disgarded clothing from the week. To me, things have their place and should be in it. I will even line things up and organize desk and counter tops that aren't mine.
• I obsess over home decor. I have redone our bedroom three times and the spare bedroom four times in the almost two years we have lived in our condo. When home decor is just not right, I can't leave it alone. Shawn always asks when I'm going to move into the spare bedroom since I obsess over it's decor so much. Well, our bedroom is finally to my liking, but I just can't seem to get right vibe in the spare room. I will prevail!
• I judge books by their cover. Note: the same does not go for people. When I walk through a library or bookstore, I often determine what book to read - if it hasn't been recommended by a friend - based on the cover. The first impression is the most important.
• I change my clothes alot. There are days I'm late for work just because I can't pick the right outfit. It's sad because I usually just sit in my office all day with little human interaction that would warrant schnazzy duds. But, 9 times out of 10, I'm not going to be satisfied with the first thing I put on. I hate when I envision an outfit and am so dead set on wearing it, and then I put it on and it just isn't what I pictured. Totally bursts my bubble.
• I could eat Chipotle every day. Seriously, every single day. It's full of calories, fat, sodium, and all the things that love my thighs, but I am addicted.
  
• I remember lyrics like it's my job. I have this knack for remembering the lyrics to a song even after hearing it only once. Shawn is often not impressed but rather irritated by this quirk because many times I won't remember what he just said in the car, but I remember the lyrics to the new Taylor Swift song I just heard for the second time in 20 minutes on a particular Columbus radio station. And it kinda bothers me when people sing the wrong lyrics to a song I know. Don't worry, I won't call you out, I'll just stew over it internally until the song ends.
  
• I don't like lipstick or lipgloss. And I will only wear Chapstick when absolutely necessary.
• I'm not a fan of fruity smells. Candles, candy, or perfume that smell uber fruity wrinkle my nose. If it smells like you just ate a whole bag of Jolly Ranchers, ick. Grape and raspberry are the worst.
• I love dancing in my underwear. If it's the weekend and Shawn isn't around, you better believe I'm cranking up the tunes and dancing around the house as I take an unusually long time to get ready for the day. I feel free and liberated, but I usually like to do it in the company of me, myself and I. We don't judge.
  

Flower Power

I'm usually not big on flowers because they can look too old lady-ish sometimes. But I'm craving the above pieces from Forever 21 right now.

RIP Dragon Berry Rum

The first bottle of alcohol, Barcardi Dragon Berry Rum (my new weakness), met it's demise at 6:14 p.m., Friday, July 17.

K Trux has begun posting stories from our PIB adventure, which can be found here.

I am still in the process of uploading photos because my poor little camera worked so hard over the weekend that it needed to take a nap. It's alive and well again, so hopefully I'll get all the pictures of our debauchery posted tonight and tales from our weekend will commence on my blog.

Please stay tuned for more stories and pics...

'Twas the Night Before PIB

We're heading to Put-in-Bay tomorrow morning for the 3rd annual PIB Girls' Getaway Weekend, which we have so duly dubbed Woo Girls Wolfpack Weekend. This year's group is a classy bunch indeed: K Trux, Kelly, H-Bomb, JES, Lynn, V, K Ruff, and myself. I am sad to report that Karjo, Linds, and B. Dunlap will not be able to make the trip. We'll pour a little out for our homies though; they are with us in spirit.

As I prepare to anxiously pack my belongs for what promises to be another memorable weekend of debauchery, I find myself reflecting on last year's extravaganza. Throughout the weekend, we each took on male alias' complete with careers:

• K Trux: Keith Troutman: Troutman Insurance and Keith's Kickin Karaoke
• JES: Jazzy Jasper Sampson: Jazz singer and saxaphone player from Louisiana
• H-Bomb: Homer Rodriguez: hispanic truck driver and KSkullet's number one customer
• Holly: Horatio Fellagio-Rumpski: Sex therapist and - new this year - part casino owner. Sex and gambling go hand in hand.
• Karj: Karl Skullet: plumber and suppository salesman. Met his untimely demise in the sleeper sofa
• Linds: Leon Dopplelinger or something like that: Gynocologist

This year, Kelly, V, Lynn and K Ruff were blessed with man names of their very own:

• V: Virgil Johannson: Former librarian, had to resign after a child molestation charge. Settled out of court.
• Kelly: Kareem Makavelli: Bar keep at the Toxic Tavern in Lousiana. Gave Jasper his big break at the Tavern
• K Ruff: Kato Ronstadt: former underwear model who brought on the tassle craze
• Lynn: Luther Santiago: Owner of Luther's Loot, a discount jewelry store in Arkansas

We took a series of pictures similar to the above photo for about 30 minutes, and we all nearly peed our pants. None of us are really sure to this day why this photo shoot was so funny, but I'm surprised you can't see the tears of laughter in our eyes. Blame it on the a-a-a-a-alcohol....
Then there was the infamous clown cupcake birthday cake - yes, that's a deformed clown. This cake was a surprise for Linds' birthday and H-Bomb, Karjo and JES had managed to get it into the hotel room fridge without Linds noticing. However, as soon as K Trux arrived and open the fridge, she exclaimed: "Who's birthday cake is this?!" This ruined surprise will go down in history.
Then there was this creepo at Level 2. Apparently there was some Mardi Gras-type thing going on that weekend that we were unaware of, but this d-bag had the biggest ball necklace EVER. What makes him creepy besides the mustache, is the fact that he kept putting his necklace on unsuspecting members of our wolfpack while we were dancing (see above). Also, note Linds' facial expression of shock, terror, and disgust.

Also, you can see K. Trux in the background of this pic most likely scanning the bar for Biggie Smalls, her dance partner for the night. I am sad that I don't have a photo of BS, but his memory lives on.
Other notable memories from PIB 2008 are:

• 1 thread count sheets
• Fart Island
• poop snakes
• "God DAMN!" - boys on golf cart to Karjo
  
• "You have a look I just have to capture" - crazy drunk lady to Karjo
• Troutman Road
• $100 speeding ticket
• JES' lack of sea legs on the ferry ride back

Be sure to stay tuned for stories and photos from the PIB 2009 adventures!

Pet Peeve

Does anyone else find it rather irritating when people post depressing Facebook status updates in a sad attempt to solicit sympathy? It's pathetic.

Don't get me wrong, some sad news can be totally justified, i.e. loss of a friend, family member or pet or other catastrophic life events. But updates such as "*Name* has no friends" or any form of self-pitying or complaining that is not entertaining is completely uncalled for in my book.

What might be even more annoying is the fact that people actually comment on that crap and shell out heart-felt sympathies. You're just feeding the fire, my friends. Stop it.

I know you've all seen Facebook status updates like this, so can I get an Amen?

A Must Read

Many of you are already reading Text From Last Night, FML, and perhaps Dear Life (although it appears this one is on hiatus. Sad day.).

Well - if you're not already reading it - here's another comical addition to your Web site repretoire: Passive-Agressive Notes. Thanks for sharing A. Fry!

Obsession: Forever 21

Call me stereotypical, but many women have an addiction to shopping. Check your girl friends' interests or activities on Facebook and tell me shopping isn't on the list. Go on, tell me. Seriously, prove me wrong. The fact is, shopping is an easy pastime. How many times have you starred in this scene: You're bored on a late Saturday morning, your best friend calls and wants to do lunch. Where do you meet? Polaris? Easton? Post luncheon, you head over to the mall for a little window shopping. You chat, you visit a couple dressing rooms, and you let your best friend talk you into buying that pair of killer heels? Now, tell me that hasn't happened to you more times than you have fingers and toes to count on? Happens to me all the time.

In preparation for the wedding, though, I have cut back on my shopping extravaganzas. However, there is one habit I can't break. I stand by the fact that I do not have a shopping addiction, I simply have an obsession with shopping at Forever 21. Yes, there's a difference.

Some of you may scoff or turn your nose up at this establishment because you think the cheap prices equals poor quality (and in some cases it may, that's why there is a whole store of varying fabrics and styles). Or, this is my favorite, the clothes fall apart when you wash them. I'm not sure what you're doing to your poor duds to make them fall apart in your washing machine, because I wash my Forever 21 apparel regularly and I've been able to hang on to pieces for years. Yes, years. My suggestion: if an article of clothing is starting to fall apart after repeated cleanings, it's time to ditch that item and shop.

Now, back to my obsession. Forever 21 is a good mix of classic, trendy, chic, and edgy all at a reasonable price. What else is nice about the price? If you ruin the cotton dress during a night of heavy drinking and debauchery, you probably didn't pay more than $20 for it, so you don't feel quite as bad. Plus, there is, almost certainly, a similar dress in stock - even if you bought your ruined dress months ago - just waiting for you to give it a good home. Voila!

I have received countless compliments on my duds and 9 times out of 10, I bought them at Forever 21. And most likely the first thing out of my mouth after you compliment my top is how little I paid for it and where I got it, so you too can add it to your fashion repretoire.

Another of my Forever 21 favorites is the Fabulous Finds section. Right now, there is nothing over $16.50! I nearly laughed out loud at Banana Republic's yuppy Great Finds Under $100 section. Now, what kind of "ruh-tard" (sorry, another reference from The Hangover. I had to do it.) would I be if I bought a maxi dress at Banana Republic for $98 knowing I can purchase a similar maxi dress at Forever 21 for $24.80?

Whether you love or hate Forever 21, I can't bring myself to buy trendy clothing from many other stores. I just can't justify shopping in an overpriced, preppy store where most of the clothes don't stray from the same color palette, it appears you can't touch anything because it's so perfectly folded it appears sterile, and the salesgirl looks at you funny when you walk in wearing a worn out t-shirt and frayed jeans fearing that your lax fashion choices that day will give the store a bad rap. Call me crazy, but I already told you I was obsessed.

Craving: Rum Runners

I can't believe it took 25 years - well, 4 of my legal drinking years - to finally indulge in this tasty, fruity cocktail. My first introduction with rum runners was at A. Fry's wedding in Fort Lauderdale while floating around the lazy river for hours. The nice waitresses kindly brought us these delicious adult beverages without us ever leaving our inner tubes.

So, in preparation for Wolfpack Weekend (sorry for The Hangover reference, I promise I will stop...eventually. Perhaps when I stop laughing out loud just thinking about the hilarious movie scenes.), which I have so nicknamed our girls' getaway weekend to Put-in-Bay, July 17-19, I have found a recipe for this tasty alcoholic treat. It will be the perfect addition to sunny poolside and hotel room adventures. And perhaps the catalyst for such adventures.

The Recipe:

• 3/4 ounce(s) Captain Morgan Original Spiced Rum
• 1/4 ounce(s) blackberry liqueur
• 1/4 ounce(s) crème de banana liqueur
• 2 ounce(s) orange juice
• 1/2 ounce(s) grenadine
• 8 ounce(s) crushed ice

Or this recipe:

• 1 ounce Blackberry Brandy
• 1 1/2 ounces Coconut Rum
• 4 ounces Cranberry Juice
• 4 ounces Orange Juice
• 4 ounces Pineapple Juice
• Add ice

There are so many recipes, it's hard to know which to choose. But either of the above recipes, I believe, will be a perfect summertime blend.

Sometimes All I Want....

...is the chance to prove people wrong.

The Hangover

The Stooges and I went and saw The Hangover a few nights ago and I still can't stop laughing. After rave reviews from countless friends, I'm not sure why we waited so long to see it, but now we'll be quoting this movie well past its prime much to the annoyance of our other wolf pack members (see the movie, you'll get it). I think this could be a movie I can watch repeatedly on a Sunday afternoon when I'm too lazy to get up from the recliner even to pee. Ah, I love those days.

I must say that I'm so glad I saw this movie with H-Bomb and JES. When we walked into the theatre we were immediately those girls because we were already laughing at something completely unrelated. We sat in the back row like high schoolers who think they're too cool or just wanted to make out. We laughed so hard we made each other laugh. I love hearty laughs like that. So good for the soul!

So, I wanted to share some of my favorite movie quotes:

Alan Garner: Tigers love pepper... they hate cinnamon.

Alan Garner: You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack... it grew by one. So there... there were two of us in the wolf pack... I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought, "Wait a second, could it be?" And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, I make a toast!

Doug Billings: Either way, you gotta be super smart to count cards, buddy, okay?
Alan Garner: Oh really?
Doug Billings: It's not easy.
Alan Garner: Okay, well maybe we should tell that to Rain Man, because he practically bankrupted a casino, and he was a ruh-tard.
Stu Price: A what?
Alan Garner: He was a ruh-tard.
Doug Billings: [pauses to figure out what Alan was saying] *RE*tard.

Alan Garner: Gambling? Who said anything about gambling? It's not gambling when you know you're gonna win. Counting cards is a foolproof system.
Stu Price: It's also illegal.
Alan Garner: It's not illegal, it's frowned upon, like... masturbating on an airplane.
Phil Wenneck: I'm pretty sure that's illegal too.
Alan Garner: Yeah, maybe after 9/11, where everybody got so sensitive. Thanks a lot, Bin Laden!

Sid Garner: Now remember, what happens in Vegas stays, in Vegas... Except herpes, that shit will come back with you.

Stu Price: Fuck!
Alan Garner: Your language is offensive.

Alan Garner: Hey you guys ready to let the dogs out?

I could go on and on. I am rolling and near peeing my pants, so for those of you who have seen the movie, I hope you had a good laugh as well. I bet you're going to go look up more movie quotes on IMDB, aren't you? For those of you who haven't seen The Hangover (note: you're like the only person. Just sayin'), I hope you really want to see it now!
Um, and can I just say that Bradley Cooper totally redeemed himself after his Wedding Crashers role (I haven't seen He's Just Not That Into You, so I can't comment on his role in that). I thought he was a complete d-bag because of that role. But I will take more wavy-haired B. Coop any day from now on.

Oh, and remember: Stu Price: Don't let the beard fool you. He's a child!

Begin Countdown Sequence

31 days! Yes, in 31 days I'll be a married woman. My excitement is practically shooting out of my eye balls! But there are a few things (OK, several) left to cross off the wedding to-do list, and I'm developing a growing anxiety about fitting into my dress post-alterations.

First, the list(in no particular order):

• Finalize rehearsal dinner menu
• Send out rehearsal dinner invitations
• Write up and print out itineraries for the weekend
• Welcome bag note
• Design and print out programs
• Pick readers and confirm readings with priest
• Finish assembling bridesmaids gifts and Shawn needs to select groomsmen gifts
• Pick first dance song and other notable songs for the reception
• Seating chart and seating name tags
• Confirm hair appointment time with stylist
• Pay off DJ and photographer
• Pick up Shawn's wedding band
• Pick up wedding dress (July 22!)
• Submit final numbers to reception hall and pay off reception (thanks Mom and Dad!)
• I know I'm forgetting something...most likely...
  

So I should probably get started, right? I'm not stressed by any means and really this isn't going to take all that long to accomplish once I get going. And really I just want to get everything done and ready to go as much as possible by the last week of July so that I can relax the week before the wedding. Ha, relax. It'll probably be more like trying not to pee my pants with excitement and anticipation.

Now, back to my wedding dress anxiety. I love love love my dress and I just hope it fits after all the alterations. I'm not being intolerant, but it was difficult to understand the foreign woman who did my alterations, and I just hope she understood me, so that when I try my dress on again on July 22, it fits like a glove. Fingers crossed. I know she does this for a living and I'm sure she's fab, but I'm still nervous. I was feeling particularly skinny the day of my fitting, but lately I feel uber bloated and, no, it's not that time of the month.

So, my plan is to continue on my current workout plan - nearly every day, 30 to 60 minutes - and begin incorporating more cardio, i.e. running, into the mix. I haven't run much - OK, only two times legitimately - since the half marathon on May 2. I guess I thought I deserved some time off after 13.1 miles. I'm also going to avoid foods that bloat as much as I can, or just eat less of them. White breads and pasta are my weakness.

I've also considered a natural colon cleanse (My co-worker, KR, did the Master Cleanse), more fiber and water, because I read that the toxins and waste in your colon can cause bloating if they aren't flushed out quickly. I used to not have a problem flushing my system (mild IBS and lactose intolerance will do that to you), but lately I haven't been in the bathroom as much as normal. So needless to say I'm paranoid that excess waste in my colon is causing some bloating issues. Or it could be the white breads and pasta. Maybe I should take more vitamins?

Those of you who know me are probably thinking I'm crazy, but it's not a diet, it's conscious eating and healthy exercise. One of which will continue after August 8. I'll let you guess which one. I just want to look my absolute best on our wedding day, which will hopefully come naturally with the help of the blushing bride syndrome I'm bound to contract.

The First Dance

So Shawn and I are struggling to come up with our first dance song. OK, I'm really the one that's struggling because I think Shawn is pretty much leaving it up to me to decide. I've made some suggestions and his comment was always, "how do you dance to that?"

Here's what I'm thinking. I don't really want anything super sappy or lovey-dovey because that's just not us. When I told Shawn that, his response was, "Isn't that the point of a first dance song?" He has a good point, but I think it's best to stick with a song that really represents us. We are both into chill music like Coldplay, Dave Matthews, Jack Johnson, etc. So I want something modern with a rock ballad-type feel. I think.

Here are some songs I'm considering:

1. When You Are Near - Carolina Liar (this song is at the top of my list right now. It has the sound I'm going for, and since Shawn just bought me the CL CD, I've been listening to it on repeat trying to imagine dancing to it, and every time I do I get emotional.)
2. Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol (is this too overused?)
   
3. Look After You - The Fray (My friend danced to this at her wedding and it was precious. I don't want to copy her, but if the song fits, I just might have to borrow it.)
4. Better Together - Jack Johnson (too obvious?)
   
5. Soon As You Can - Dierks Bentley (Country songs are always a safe bet because they are full of heart-felt, sweet lyrics)
   
6. I Need You - Tim McGraw & Faith Hill (A little on the sappy side, but a meaningful song)

There were others on my list, but I can't think of them right now. These are the ones that stick out. I am open to suggestions and want to hear what you think!

Symbolism

Body art is statement. For many people, their ink is symbolic of significant moments in their lives. For some it's an experiment, and others a bad decision on Spring Break.

I have two tattoos. My tattoos have meaning, at least to me, and I chose the designs carefully as I will continue to do with my future tats (yes, there are more to come!).

Pictured above is the second one I had done (immediately after the needle left my skin) and it's located between my shoulder blades, one dove on either side of my spine. The design is courtesy of Jess Medors, my freshman year roommate.

With summer in full swing, the doves tend to get maximum exposure with the onset of tank tops, cotton dresses, and swimsuits. I thought now would be a good time to let you all in on the secret symbolism of my tattoos - trust me, it's not that deep.

The doves are symbolic of peace of mind and the freedom to be myself. Plus, they're just really kick ass. I got this tattoo when I was going through a tough spot in my life - not sure what I wanted to do with my life and guy trouble, mostly, which at the time was the worst thing EVER. All I wanted was to be me, be loved for who I am, and be worry free. So the doves represent my optimism amidst the pessimism, a phoenix rising from the ashes if you will.

My first tattoo (pictured above right after it was finished) I had done with my best friend Kristen in Zanesville during a visit to her hometown, Crooksville. This one is pretty simple: the "H" is my zodiac sign, I'm a Pisces, and ironically the first letter of my first name, which, for the record, has nothing to do with this tat. The four dots represent the other members of my family - Casey, Heather, Mom, and Dad. This tattoo is located on my right glute just below where my pants sit on my hips.

I had the artists use brown ink for both my tattoos. It looks like henna, but I enjoyed the subtleness of the brown versus harsh black ink.

Did they hurt? Yes, and I think that anyone who says getting a tattoo doesn't hurt is lying. It's a stinging, irritating pain that dulls the longer your art takes, but some areas of your body will hurt worse than others. I can attest to that. My first tattoo hurt worse than the second. The needle stopped buzzing a few times because the artist was pressing so hard to get the ink into the thick skin on my rear. That was pretty uncomfortable. Luckily, my tattoos are small and will continue to be small because I don't know if I could sit through the hours of pain required for large tats.

Are tattoos addicting? I understand why people have multiple. I don't like putting myself through the pain, but I love the end result. It's the end result that is my addiction. And while it's not a strong addiction, I do get the itch for new ink every once in awhile. I have fought off the last few bouts, but after the wedding, be sure to stay tuned for pictures of my third tattoo.