fame: my first blog award

Today, I logged in to find a blog award waiting for me from Mrs. EyeCanSee @ The juice is worth the squeeze. I am beyond excited and honored to have been given my first blog award, the Stylish Blogger Award! *blush*

So here are the rules about receiving said award:

1. Link back and thank the fabulous person who gave you this amazing award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 other deserving bloggers.
4. Contact said bloggers and let them know about their award.

Here are seven random facts about me:

1. I'm lactose intolerant. Eating dairy products can wreak havoc on my intestines. Lucky for me someone brilliant invented Lactaid, so I can still enjoy all the cheese, milk, and ice cream I want.
2. I can make a clover with my tongue. 
3. I don't eat or drink anything blue. I'm so weirded out by blue drinks especially that I hate even touching the container, i.e. a Gatorade bottle.
4. I drive a black Mazda 3. I've wanted this car since I went to college almost nine years ago, and I finally bought it two years ago. I love it. I contemplated getting a vanity license plate that said ZOOOOOM...hahaha!
5. My family took vacations every year since I was six, and it's the one tradition I want to pass on to my own kids.
6. I used to say that I never wanted kids. Now, when I say I do, I don't think my mom will believe it until she sees it.
7. I had braces twice starting the day after my 9th birthday. I was one hot third grader with glasses and braces.

That's enough about me. Now, let's hear about some of these lovely ladies. And my awardees are:

Kristen @ A Kapple a Day
Megan @ Pearls and Pears

Callie @ If You're Bored Then You're Boring

Christina @ Hungry Meets Healthy

Audra @ A Little Bit of Rain

Emily @ My Life As I Know It

Brittiny @ Mommy's Pause Button

Megan @ Skinny Mirror

Emily @ Simple Frills

Brittany @ Sweet, Sassy and Oh So Classy

Lindsay @ The Lean Green Bean

Annie @ Chapters of Our Life

Emily @ My Heart Shaped Life

Megan @ It's Good to be Queen

Heather @ Sunsets and Silhouette Dreams

Ashley @ A Hasty Life

Congratulations, luvies!

friends + weekends

My friends and I have a strange affinity for the Eiffel Tower. I've been missing my friends since I've been so busy, and I'm so happy to be able to spend some quality time hanging out with a few of them this weekend. I also have plans in the works for more friend meet ups in the near future. Also, lately all I can think about is how desperately I need a vacation, and I'm looking forward to my two-day getaway to Pittsburgh with my sister next week. I hope your weekend is filled with friends and laughter. Have a good one, luvies.

{all photos via we heart it}

peachy sequins

My blog friend Xtina recently bought this peach (yes, peach even though it looks pink) sequin skirt from Forever 21 and asked me to put together a few outfits for her. I think I went a little overboard, but I just kept coming up with ways to pair this skirt with casual and work wear (and I have more, but I had to stop at some point). So here are a few ideas:

1. Keep it classy. Wear it to work or a fancy dinner/event.

While white, black, and gray are pretty standard go-to colors for formal outfits, add some color using jewel tones and shades of green in your jewelry. Even throw on a pair of black tights for special effect.

2. Sequin skirt meets white t-shirt.

A white t-shirt is a great blank canvas with which to start building an outfit. Layer the t-shirt with jackets, cardigans, or vests in a variety of colors (even try a colored jacket or cardi in olive green or purple). Also, seize the opportunity to mix in color with your shoes or a scarf. And don't hesitate to add a pair of leggings.

3. Sequin skirt for every day and every season.

Have fun with it. Pair this sequin skirt with stripes, embellishments, and graphics. Gold and silver. Tuck the tops in or just let them hang free. The outfit combos are seemingly endless with this skirt. I can't wait to see how Xtina decides to wear her new skirt!

therapy thursday: the healing power of grief

Grief is not an easy thing to go through in any situation. It's also not an easy thing to talk about, but, I think, for several people in my life, that it's a necessary thing to talk about.

 {via we heart it}

We grieve for many things and in many different ways - some of us cry, some of us get angry, and some of us hold it in not wanting to deal with it or thinking that we have to be strong for someone else. But tears are not a sign of weakness when you're grieving. They are a sign of healing. What happens to those negative, sad feelings when you don't allow yourself to feel them? Imagine that you are blowing them into a balloon. Every time you felt sad, angry or unhappy you blew those feelings into your balloon. What happens to a balloon when you blow it up too big? It pops.

It is so much easier and better to grieve when the feelings arise, rather than wait for your balloon to pop and you're flooded with an overwhelming amount of emotion that you can't handle. When you allow yourself to feel the pain of the loss of a loved one - a parent, a child, a partner, a friend - you are allowing yourself to heal. Each time you feel sad, angry, hurt, or down, sit with that feeling and remember what you lost. Allowing yourself to feel those emotions allows you to take another step in the healing process.

And it's OK to talk about these feelings, in fact, it's part of healing too. Not talking about your emotions while you're grieving is just filling up your balloon. I tend to be a silent griever because I don't want to be a Debbie Downer/Negative Nancy/Sad Sally around other people, and I don't want them to feel uncomfortable talking about difficult situations and feelings. But the truth is, if your friends and family love you, they will be there for you to just listen or give advice. So find that person you can trust to just listen or the person who always gives you the best advice, and tell them what you need from them as you try to heal.

And if you are that person whom someone comes to talk about their grief, please don't say that you understand if you have never been through the same situation. I can't tell you what it's like to lose a parent, child, pet, or even grandparent, and I won't pretend to understand what that must be like, nor do I want to. But what I can do is listen. And that's what your loved one needs from you at that moment, just for you to listen. What you probably do understand are the emotions of a broken heart. So if you're asked, give advice on how you found the strength to heal. And just be there with a smile, a hug, a card, flowers, an email or phone call, anything that says you are there for them.

Loss is never easy. Grief is never pretty. And healing takes time. The only way to fully heal is to allow yourself to feel all of the negative emotions and to find someone who loves you to lend their ear. And if you don't like to talk about it, write what you're feeling in a journal. But just grieve. You will find peace.

Click here to read about the five stages of loss and grief (pay attention to the last paragraph).

challenge day

Yesterday, I volunteered as an adult facilitator for Challenge Day at a local high school. It was a very emotionally draining day, but I was so proud of the students for opening up to strangers, hugging old friends and new, making public apologies, and committing to be the change.

Challenge Day is a one-day program that strives to build connection and empathy among students, and spark a movement toward compassion and positive change, known as the Be the Change movement.

We played games where we had to pair up with people didn't know or normally wouldn't choose to be partners with, we played team games, we broke into small family groups, and we opened up about our true feelings. In my small family group, I led four students through activities called "If you really knew me." It was very emotional to see these students dig deep into themselves to reveal those scary, buried feelings and events that have happened in their lives. One student talked about her alcohol addiction that almost killed her, and how she has changed her life for the better and found God. Another student talked about how he is happy-go-lucky and loves to be pushed to be better, but went through a period where he couldn't even look at himself in the mirror because he thought he wasn't good enough.

I couldn't hold in my tears for these kids and the things I revealed about myself. But these tears were not a sign of weakness. These tears are about pushing forward and making positive changes in the future. It was truly an out-of-my-comfort zone activity.

Another activity that hit me hard was "Cross the Line." Students were crossing the line for things that no child should ever have to deal with in their lives, but unfortunately some of them see every day. I think not crossing the line with them sometimes and looking across at their faces, so sad and tear-streaked, was the hardest part.

The day wasn't all tears though. There was dancing, cheering, hugging, high-fiving, and laughter. I felt a sense of freedom in talking to these students and hugging people I don't think I would ever have thought to hug. But a hug and smile can truly brighten someone's day, and we don't do enough of it on a daily basis. There are so many hurtful words that we spat toward one another instead that we don't take the time to understand where a person might come from or deal with every day. Most of the time, we lack pure compassion for other people. We hurt the people closest to us and think that we can always apologize tomorrow. But what if that person you fought with today wasn't there tomorrow? What if you never had the chance to apologize? Many students used Challenge Day as an opportunity to make amends and apologize.

It was a truly powerful, emotionally draining day, but it was an amazing experience. I was so proud of each of those students for having the guts to spill, well, their guts. To cry in front of strangers, and to hug each other with true compassion. Every student, child, person deserves to feel safe, happy and loved. We all have the choice to be the change we wish to see in the world. I hope I can be part of that change.

Challenge Day challenges students and participants to Notice what's happening around them, Choose to live the life they envision for themselves, and Act and make the commitment to be the change.

Be the Change. It's all about choice. And we all have a choice.

so what wednesday

So what if...

• I cried like a baby during Challenge Day yesterday. Tears are not a sign of weakness.
• I have yet to put away a growing basket mountain of clothes piled on the guest bed. It's only been two, maybe three weeks.
• The first time I work out this week is tonight.
• I've yet to read the 300+ page book on which I have to write a 4-6 page paper, which is due on Monday.
• I toast two pieces of bread, throw a slice of cheese in the middle, nuke it for 15 seconds and call it a grilled toasted cheese.
• I still love eating PB&Js and Ramen Noodles for lunch.
• If I haven't posted a What-to-Wear Wednesday in over a month. (P.S. I hope to post one today just to make up for it.)
• I overdrafted my checking account twice this month and three times last month.
• I broke down and shopped the Old Navy extra 50% off clearance sale this weekend for clothes I really didn't need.
• I wish I would have stayed in bed all day.

therapy thursday: loyalty vs. satisfaction

Note: I began writing this post yesterday, so it counts for Therapy Thursday.

Back in mid-December 2010, I was at a conference in Chicago for work. The keynote speaker was an expert on loyalty. He was funny, energetic, and kept his message real. He talked about customers being loyal versus satisfied, but used real-life examples to get his message across.

Dogs are loyal.

Cats are satisfied.

Dogs are always there for you. They are always excited to see you and are eager to please you at all times. Their love is unconditional. Loyalty is a behavior. Cats do the minimum to keep you filling up their food bowl. They are affectionate on their terms and don't feel compelled to please you in the least. Satisfaction is a mood.

Satisfaction is easy to feel, but loyalty needs a purpose and trust. The keynote speaker said there are two questions you should be able to answer 'yes' to in order to be loyal: 1.) Does it make my life easier? and 2.) Does it make my life better?

Take my Chipotle addiction for example. Does it make my life easier - you bet. I don't have to cook, and it's conveniently located in a plethora of places along my route home and close to home. Does it make my life better - abso-freaking-lutely! It is delicious, plain and simple, and that's enough for me.

Loyalty is fueled by emotions and connections. People are addicted to other people and we want the relationships in our lives to make us feel good. So ask yourself: Does Friend X make your life easier? Does Friend X make your life better? If you answered 'yes' to both questions, chances are you are loyal to Friend X, and would have their back in a fight in a dark alley. If you answered 'no' to one or both of these questions, either you are merely satisfied with your relationship with Friend X or Friend X is more of a burden in your life. If you're satisfied with your relationship with Friend X and don't need more from it, then carry on. If Friend X is a burden and takes more energy to be around than you can afford to expend, then consider trimming the friendship fat to focus on healthier relationships that evoke positive emotions.

The bottom line is that both cats and dogs make great companions, but can you settle for satisfaction or do you yearn for deeper, more meaningful connections from your relationships? I must admit that I am both satisfied with and loyal to the various relationships in my life. You can't be all things to all people. So think about the relationships in your life, which ones are you loyal to, which ones are you satisfied with, and which ones are you just not that into?

being there

{via we heart it}

I had a friend who recently went through a break up and is still feeling the aftershock. Break ups are never easy. We all know that. And sometimes I feel like there is nothing you can say that will lessen the pain of a broken heart. Sometimes the best thing you can do is simply be there.

therapy thursday: think like a zebra

I don't know if I've ever mentioned this before, but I am currently earning a second bachelors degree, this time in psychology. I should be done this summer and plan to enroll in a graduate program this fall. I have thought about starting Therapy Thursday for awhile now as a why to share all the interesting/compelling/enlightening/"ah ha" knowledge I am gaining from my psych classes, which are never dull or lacking in insights about the human mind.

So I have decided to start Therapy Thursday on a topic we are all familiar with: stress. Currently, I am reading a book by Robert Sapolsky titled Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers. It's true, zebras don't get ulcers. Why not? Because the life of a zebra is simple. They don't worry about being a good zebra, or material things, or what the other zebras think of them, or the amount of work piled on their desks. Sure there is the occasional threat of being eaten by a lion, but a zebra is only stressed for a limited amount of time - until they have outrun the lion or been eaten by it. But a zebra doesn't live in constant fear of being eaten by a lion. It can't think that far ahead. It is just a zebra.

 {via}

As humans, we are blessed with a large brain, which also aids to our demise. We are ridiculously complex animals, and because of our high brain function, we have the ability to stress about everything. When you are stressed, your body prepares itself to fight or flee the stressor by releasing hormones, including cortisol, which increases blood sugar, suppresses the immune system, and aids in metabolism; and norepinephrine, which triggers your fight-or-flight response by increasing heart rate, tapping into energy stores, and increasing blood flow to your muscles. In acute doses, stress is healthy for the body. However, chronic stress is responsible for many health problems that humans suffer from daily, such as hypertension (high blood pressure), digestive issues, depression, chronic fatigue, and even ulcers.

When your body is stressed, not only does it release stress hormones to aid the body in fight-or-flight, but it depletes other bodily systems, such as the digestive system, of energy because your body needs all the energy it can get to fight or flee the threat or stress you are facing. Think about the zebra, if it's being chased by a lion, it does not need to stay "regular" at that moment, so digestion is stopped in order to use that energy to run like hell from that hungry lion. The same is true for humans. If you experience diarrhea or constipation, think first about what you had for lunch and then think about your stress level.

If cortisol is produced in high doses it can stunt your growth, affect your insulin levels, weaken your immune system, shut down your reproductive system, increase blood pressure, and affect your memory. Too much norepinephrine can lead to anxiety, depression, or aggression.

Stress affects people in many different ways, but the bottom line is too much stress is never a good thing. Humans live in a constant state of fear - Am I too fat?; Will I finish all this work?; Can I pay my bills next month? Am I a good person? And stress is just fear. What are we so afraid of? The zebra's only fear is becoming lion lunch, and a zebra only worries about the lion when it sees the lion. The rest of the time it's just a zebra. Recognizing your fears and facing them, or simply re-prioritizing your life, can help to reduce your stress, and ultimately, keep you healthy.

Try this: Each week make a to-do list of the top 10 things (if you have 10) that you need or want to get accomplished that week (outside of work obligations). Stick to 10, and everything else you accomplish that week is just a bonus. Be sure to include at least one thing you want to do for yourself (get a massage, paint your nails, stop by your favorite store to see the latest looks, grab a drink with a girlfriend, etc.) that you have put off because of other items on your growing to-do list. This will help you prioritize your life, stay focused on what's important each week, and maintain some sense of sanity. We're all busy, so why put so much pressure on ourselves to cross off every item on our to-do list in one week? It's not reasonable and only sets us up for failure. I mean, seriously, when have you ever gotten a congratulations for making it to the grocery store when you said you would? So be realistic when making your top 10 to-do list each week, and set yourself up for success. Trust me, it will feel good.

And think like a zebra for goodness sake. Don't panic if you didn't get the bed made today. In the grand scheme of life, making the bed is not worth sacrificing your health or sanity. Don't sweat the small stuff (there are plenty of big things that need your attention), and ignore that obnoxious quote about not putting off until tomorrow what you could get done today. Today, do something for you. To hell with making the bed.

project: dresser

Tonight Mr. Ritter and I did a little furniture refurbishing. The wooden dresser in our spare room was a little out of place with the black/white/silver/gray decor to say the least.

{Before}



{After}

We used flat black wood paint and bought new hardware and mirror to give this dresser an updated look that now compliments the room. I have been talking about this project for awhile, and I'm so happy with the result.

weekend wear

 

For Christmas, my mom bought me this wrap, belted sweater from Old Navy. I love it. I wore it for the first time yesterday to work with a white shirt under it and black pants. Pretty standard. But I thought, wouldn't a striped long-sleeve shirt take it up a notch? Add a different belt, knee-high boots, go-to jewelry, and of course, my signature scarf, and it's a great weekend outfit that I can wear again and again. Don't you just love outfits that are comfy and easy and make you feel fabulously put together?!

a fresh start, or is it?

Perhaps being a better blogger should have been on my list of New Years' Resolutions. I apologize if you've been feeling neglected. You probably don't want to hear my "I was so busy over the holidays" excuse, so I won't say it. I can't promise a hiatus like this won't happen again, but I'll try my best not to go another three weeks without blogging. I missed it. And you.

With the new year (hello, 2011), everyone keeps talking about a fresh start. This same conversation happens every year around this time. Many of us make new years' resolutions that we have no intentions of keeping or, in the back of our minds,  we know we can't or won't keep, so we ultimately set ourselves up for failure at the start of the new year. I am one of these people. I like to think that this year, and every year, will be different. That I keep my resolutions. I hope I do. However, I am a self-proclaimed optimistic realist. If there ever was such a thing. So while I hope that I can conquer my list of resolutions (admittedly, I can't remember all of them), I am also aware that life can be unexpected and some of my resolutions might simmer on the back burner another year.

Resolutions and a fresh start are really about change. I'm a huge fan of change. Not in all areas of my life, but in the areas that could use changing. A breath of fresh air. A change of pace. Change can be small. Or big. Or medium-sized, I guess. And sometimes change is going to happen whether you plan for it or not, or want it to or not, but it can also happen when you need it most. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow. Other times, you have to fight like hell. Change takes commitment. Commitment to accept it or fight it. But you have to commit. Do you really want to change? Can you commit?

The more I think about it, the more I wonder if you can ever truly make a fresh start. You can't undo what you've done or forget your memories (unless of course, you have amnesia). Whether good or bad, your past is your past. It can be used as a benchmark for how far you've come, as a teaching tool, and as a reference to get to where you want to go. What's in the past does not have to be in the future. A fresh start is really about change. A change of heart, a new way of thinking, of moving in the world. It's about making better choices. We always have a choice. Did you make the right one? Will you?

{all photos via}

Changes. Choices. A fresh start. Good luck, luvies. And happy new year.