I'm sure we've all been there.
What does one title such a random post?
So, against my better judgement, I asked Shawn for a suggestion. And he said:
"I think you should titled it 'I love penis.' I really think you'd spark some interest from readers."
I'm sure it would, babe. Readers in the form of porn stars and spammers. I'm sure my inbox is blowing up right now with erectile dysfunction ads and comments from the infamous Anonymous.
Super.
And this is why my husband does not title my posts.
So, you want the bad news or the bad news or the bad news first?
Yeah, there are THREE bad news bears in my world right now.
It could be worse, I know. But this just sucks.
Someone found out about the money tree we have growing in our non-existent backyard, and they are hitting us up for cash like they're holding our pets for ransom.
1. Shawn busted his foot.
After Crawl for Cancer Memorial Day weekend, we got home, thought it was a good idea to order pizza and Shawn accidentally ordered pizza twice.
Yep, we had $50 in pizza, wings and bread sticks that we didn't even eat {until the next morning}.
When the second order arrived, the dogs did their usual crazy door dance/barking routine {we finally started charging for this dog and doggie show}, and Shawn raced down the stairs to tell the dogs that the pizza guy was not a paying customer and they shouldn't give away their talent for free and missed the last step.
Don't worry, he caught himself. With his right foot. Underneath his body.
Super.
He's no sissy, but he knew it was bad, so he called his brother to take him to the hospital because I was passed out sleeping. He then spent five hours in the ER waiting room {he got there at 10 p.m.}, without being seen, before he came home.
Long story short, he's been wearing a walking boot ever since {he ditched that orthopedic-looking shoe he's seen wearing above as soon as we left the hospital} and had an MRI today. And we got his ER bill today. And I can't wait to get the MRI bill.
Let's just say we'll probably meet our deductible this year.
2. Our cat is skinny.
And eats like a dog.
Seriously, she eats dog food and dog treats. She even gets on the counter and eats people food. And she has started begging.
Because of her ravenous eating habits, we were certain she had a worm. The vet thought she might have a hyperactive thyroid.
Turns out, she's fine. We're just starving her.
And it only cost us $200 to find out we're horrible fur parents.
3. Our air conditioner stopped working yesterday.
Super.
Our condenser fan motor died.
$700 later, we're back in business. Just in time for the 90+ degree temps this week.
They say these things come in threes.
Well, I sure hope that's true because there are no more leaves on the Ritter money tree.
Bastards.
In good news, we had a great weekend and I got presents in the mail today!
Clockwise from top left: Mac and cheese and pulled pork sandwich/I convinced non-beer drinkers/my friends that Crispin is the best beer in the world/Alicia and I hit up Ikea and loaded that cart, her car and carried those boxes into her house. Can you say beef cakes?/I saw Jack Hanna during Zoofari!
I won two giveaways from two of my faves!
I got a customized orange and yellow bracelet from
Chelsea's Etsy shop
After Sunset. I told her I loved it so much that I may never take it off. She thinks I'm kidding. This bracelet is even better than I imagined. I'm going to have to buy more! I love the bright colors and Chelsea is amazeballs. Duh!
And I got nail polishes, in fabulous summer shades, from
Kelly! Essie's A Crewed Interest {second from right} has my toes written all over it - or vice versa - you know what I mean.
Thank you both so much! You rock my size 6.5 socks!
And if you haven't checked out their blogs, they do not disappoint! You can thank me later.
Oh, one last thing.
It's Make It My Own Monday {find an outfit on Pinterest that inspires you and recreate it. Easy peasy} after all, and I've been taking outfit pics like it's my j-o-b.
I must say I've been taking a few risks, and I've been pleasantly and comfortably surprised!
One of my latest fashion attempts was with color blocking.
Here's some inspiration:
And here's what I wore:
{tank and sandals: Old Navy. skirt: thrifted. belt: Forever 21}
Alright, that's enough fun for one day.
I need to catch up on your emails from last week. And sleep. And finish my beer.
Yes, it's Monday. I'm having a beer. And Jimmy Johns.
It was well deserved after our spending spree these last three weeks. And for getting to work early today. Boom.
And my husband just handed me $30. Time to blow it on sex, drugs and rock 'n roll.
Peace out, girl scouts.